three anecdotes

1) So we were graphing quadratic equations in class last week, and I had two students, one boy and one girl, who were having a hard time with it. I called them over to my desk to go over the basics. I said, "Okay, so we know that the graph of a quadratic equation is a parabola, right? And if the leading coefficient is positive, the parabola opens up, and if it's negative, the parabola opens down." As I spoke, I drew the following picture:
Then I said, "So, if we want to graph a quadratic equation, the first thing we need to do is find the vertex of the parabola." My female studen! t sais, "What's the vertex?" I said, "The vertex is the lowest point of a parabola that opens up or the highest point of a parabola that opens down," and, as I spoke, I marked the vertices of the two parabolas I had drawn:
My male student immediately started giggling. My female student looked at him and said, "What's so funny?"

God, I love fourteen year old boys.

2) The kid and I were watching the Sox/Yankees game yesterday afternoon (yeah, I know, we lost, but we kick! ed their fucking asses today, so fuck you). Hubby has taug! ht the k id that the Yankees smell bad, so every time a batter came up to the plate, the kid would ask, "Does he smell bad, Mommy?" I found this endlessly delightful. When Derek Jeter came up to bat at one point, the kid asked if he smelled and I said, "Yes, honey. That's Derek Jeter. He smells terrible." She said, "Why does he smell bad?" I said, "Because his soul is dirty." Later, she asked, "What do the Yankees smell like, Mommy?" I replied, "Feet and broken dreams."

3) Then this morning at breakfast, while we were watching the Sunday news shows, the kid looked up at the television (yes, we eat breakfast in front of the television on Sunday mornings - I'm the worst parent ever) and said, "Hey, what's that face?" Hubby replied, "That's Senator Sam! Brownback." The kid asked, "But why's he making that face?" I said, "He can't help it, honey." My kid's a fucking genius.

In unrelated news, I am a narcissistic whore and desperately desire your adulation. Therefore, I would like to request that you follow the two links here or in the sidebar over there and go cast your vote for me for the Hottest Mommy Blogger and Best Blog About Stuff awards in the Blogger's Choice Awards. If I win, I'll totally post some new pictures of my tits.

finding the vertex of a parabola